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Solid weekend service. I invited my dad to go for service with me and WOW he was SO impacted. Praise the Lord! Throughout the whole service, i kept praying for him that he'd open up his heart and receive the word. and thank God, he did and was very very transformed. He fellowshipped with my cg members and joined us for lunch. I think he's a different kind of 'new friend' whereby he 'entertained' the members.. cool with that.. but eng chang complained my pa asked him 'How are you?' thrice.. HAHAHA..

Gary and him talked a lot. I don't really know what they said.. but it looked important.. so i willingly let him 'kidnapped' my dad to somewhere else to talk.. think my pa was sharing some problems with him la.. going thru hell now. But praise the Lord, God is now the strength of my pa's heart and i believe he will walk thru hell very cooly and emerge even stronger. God is so solid.

I reached home at ard 11 plus after fellowshipping with some of my members at bugis (N256 can nv get tired of fellowshipping!!!).. and pa told me he nearly collapsed when he heard a news.. i was like "HUH?! what could possibly happen..." then he told me, if he was to bet 420 on a game.. he would have won 17000 tonight. that's a lot of money i know.. but i didn't feel a slightest of tui-ness becos i knew that that was just one of the devil's tactic to draw him away from God.. so i encouraged him and told him that this was just the devil's work to take control over him now that he's on God's side.. and that greater things will come his way. Yes, the devil may offer you instant solutions, but on the long run, the devil will gouged out something more out of your pathetic life. And yes, 17000 is a HUGE sum to our family now, but whatever is from the devil, i will not want. Imagine giving 1,700 of tithe to God that which comes from the devil? I'd rather u don give. Our God is a holy God who deserves a sacrificial offering from us. Like David, I will not offer to God that which cost me nothing.

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Super solid! Have been walking under opened heavens recently..

Yesterday was supposedly another mundane day until da ren called at 530 and told me he had a free ticket to a orchestra concert at the esplanade.. Of cos, my adrenaline surged from 0 (i was tackling my chemistry tutorial in sch..) to 10. I couldn't contain my exhilaration! That was simply a novelty of surprise in an otherwise sian day. Concert started at 7:30 so i had to chiong home and change.

It was my first time being inside the Esplanade theatre and of cos i was thrilled. While soaking myself in the waves of sounds, i was brought back to the days when i was in the chinese orchestra playing the cello.. The sequence they went on and off stage was the same.. Anyway, even though the violins played the main melody, i was mesmerized by the cellists.. I particularly like the sound of the cellos.. it's smoothing and gentle even when playing staccato. I think it also neutralises the shrieking sounds eluded from the violins.. oKie, maybe i'm biased. haha.. the flute is nice too. sweet and clear sounds. Best played in gardens with birds' chirps as background music. hehe.. Oh ya, there was a piano soloist too.. he was so professional! (duh..)and suave.. He had 3 encores. During one, he played "'The Swan' from carnival of the Animals"
which i have the simplified version of it.. and of cos my heart leaped when i heard him play that.. i think most people can play music if they are being taught the skill of playing the instruments but what makes good music? when it's produced by your soul.. plain music is distasteful i feel. The melody can be simple but when it's played by your soul, it can be nicer than a chim piece played without emotions.

<$yet another earthquake$>
Sigh. another earthquake hit indonesia again.. with 8.7 on the richter scale and epicentre near nias island. it's like.. the people haven't even gotten over the previous disaster and now another one came their way.. the suppressed trauma lying in the recesses of their minds emerged again even though it was not as disastrous as the previous.. i smsed my medan friend and he told me they were "so.. so shocked" as they could feel the vigorous shake.. but thank God nothing terrible happened. Some parts of Singapore felt the tremble too despite our good geographical location, that goes to show that we shouldn't take that for granted.. I think our far-sighted and reliable govt should prepare the people for such unpredictable circumstances.. what if the epicentre was to be near our concrete jungle singapore... (deliberately left hanging)

The God of my strength, in whom I will trust;

My shield and the horn of my salvation,

My stronghold and my refuge;

My Savior, You save me from violence.

2 Samuel 22:3

Human relationship can be SO complicated. It's like the more you try to spin the web, the more you'll end up suffocating yrself.. Can i just take and give whatever comes my way? I feel that if you try too hard, you'll end up losing everything altogether.. but then again, how hard is hard? Sometimes you have to draw a line and set a boundary btw 2 persons, but what if the line is scratched too deep and a gap is formed eventually? Is that better than having your personal space intruded? I'm standing strong on the vow i've made. If a gap is to be formed, I'm all for that. "But what about the pleasant moments you had?" They will all be memories of a journey i once trekked on.. Nothing to mourn over..

We can get tempted sometimes because we're sexual creatures.. Nothing wrong with that. But if you continue to dwell in the temptation, then it's very wrong i think. I always believe that if someone is for you then he will be (maybe i'm wrong), if not then "too bad, so sad, move on"..

I think i've swerved from God's path by not obeying Him, and now i wanna navigate back asap..

It feels good to break away from the bondage that hinders your relationship with God. God's love is pure and no other sources are better...

And right now i'm reminded of this song:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus

Look deep in His wonderful face

And the things of the world

Will go strangely dim

At the light of His glory and grace

What beautiful lyrics that is..

*Everything has its time and season*

Oh, i realise this entry doesn't have a 'haha'... when aileen is serious, she can be really serious. =)

Had a fun day chilling out with gary.. he wanted to buy a keyboard so he asked me along, but i didn't provide significant assistent cos i know nuts about keyboards.. they all look the same to me.. Haha.. and just when we finally decided on one of those shortlisted, there wasn't any more stock. Sian ji bua liao... I know how he felt la. When I started learning piano, my parents hadn't bought me a piano yet. I told my teacher and she was kind of amused and she gave me this paper keyboard which i practised on. If you can visualize 'playing' on it, it can be very self-entertaining laughing at the thot of it.. well.. it just goes to show how desperate i was. Heh.

We went to esplanade, passing by a few chocolatiers screaming for my attention. If it wasn't for the buyer-unfriendly price, i would have bought a few. To remain optimistic, that was a blessing in disguise (temperory only heh..). We then trod on to the Baker's Inn at One Fullerton which was a neat and serene place perfect for lazing the hours away.. It was the 'dessert' portion in the menu once you open it.. good business tactic.. We ordered a waffle with a scope of cheese ice cream sitting on it and strawberry sauce capped on. It was sooooo deliciouss.. and unresistable. The only thing was.. the portion was so small for 2! (where got enough for me?) I took my time to savour the last cube of waffle which was gone before i was satisfied. Haha.. DON'T CARE! i must go again!! =) Provided i feel rich.. It cost 10.90! *ouch*But worth it.. =) we ordered a jar of camomile tea too.. which made me sleepy after drinking.. maybe i should stick to jasmine green tea haha.. boring right me? =P Talking about food gets me kind of excited haha.. cannot like laaa.. haha.. right?

Has been spending my past 2 days at home.. no lessons right now that's why. I spent my entire yesterday reading like crazy. Finished Adeline Yen Mah's "Chinese Cinderella".. Touching book but didn't manage to make me teared.. Normally i would, when reading about tragic histories of people.. Haha.. I don't mind staying at home, just give me books and more books.. HEhe.. sound so geeky.

(A talk that goes nowhere..)

Sometimes i wish i was born a nerd. Then i don't have to try so hard to want to study. Sigh..

But then again, sometimes i wish i am not. Cos i don't like nerdy people.. oops..

All they know is study study and study.. As if their whole life depend on a cert.

Sometimes i feel like jerking them up and poke their bubble.. And shout to them that there's a more exciting life out there..

But on the other hand, I dont' think they even bother to bother about that..

Aiya, why do i even bother to bother about this..

Some students are just freakily smart. I know i'm not at that standard so i just wanna be an Aileen i never knew i can be this yr. Kind of anticipating.. but why can't proper lessons start sooner.. zz..

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woo. It's been such a long time since i last wrote. So much happened that i donno where to begin. Anyways, I was telling bro jeff how the past 2 weeks have been my most fulfilling weeks serving God in a new way and experiencing Him with a fresh touch. God healed me too during my quiet time with Him. Twice. And instantly. How amazing.

Had a zone game last sunday. It was as fun and creative as always. The best part was how it beings our zone to the next level each time. But one thing different was, our cg emerged this time round!! YAy! We were all thrilled and were beaming with exuberance.. We won for ourselves a hamper full of food! =) Actually our cg was split into 2 teams, with one team topped and the other as the 1st runner-up. But at the end of the day, it seemed like all of us won anyway. But it didn't really matter, it was the process of learning to work with people and strengthening the bonds that was impt. Our team encounted a few defeats in various stations but our spirits were lifted up with encouragement from each other and we faced the challenges of the next station with new confidence. No one blamed anyone because in a team, everyone needs everyone. Ah, there's power in unity.

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Romans 15:5-6

Have you ever wondered how you could be in heaven for a moment and hell the next?

Have you ever winced at the recollection of something you did or said?

Have you ever wished that your crush at least paid a little bit more attention on you?

Have you ever wanted something so badly, it drove you crazy?

Have you ever waited on a promise which did not come to past?

Have you ever walked right into someone's heart?

Have you ever won a battle you've fought so hard for?

Hmmm i have. And am grateful for all the experiences i've been through. But i can't just turn back and smile at them, my journey is still long and it's filled with so many more "Have-you-ever"s. Right now i will just keep walking in the path of God and hope that there will be less negative "Have-you-ever"s.. =)

And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
2 Corinthians 3:18

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Today! we got back our AO chinese results!! 04S4 reunited once again in room 111 with beloved Goh Eng Heah. She tried to be friendly with us but apparently none of us was interested LOL.. Anyway, before the results were given out.. the atmosphere started to tense up gradually.. I was filled with anticipation to know how i fared but yet, part of me didn't have the courage to cope with my emotions if it was to turn out below my already low expectation.. have to admit la, chinese is not my piece of cake. I only hoped to pass and get over and done with it. Which means NO MORE CHINESE for as long as i live!! YAY! okie.. So we were sitting as the names were being called to receive the result slips.. Seriously, i bet none of us ever like to be kept in suspense for such things.. Anyway, as more people took their result slips, an array of expressions were displayed. Finally my lovely chinese name was called, i took a deep breath and went up.. GEH handed me my slip. I took a glance and went estatic. I got a C6!!! lol.. Ya it's not a very colourful result, but the thot of me passing and never to take chinese papers ever, sent me right up to the moon. HAhhaa.. I went 'Heeeee!!!' and did some stupid acts.. lol.. and my class laughed. Oh well. can't contain the excitement of not taking any more chinese. HAhahaa.. Biggest joy. =)

Today, we also witnessed on 'live telecast' how our seniors received their results in the hall.. Gosh. If the tension in the classroom was bad.. the hall's was 10 times badder.. there was a permanent worried look on some (like you-know-who from s4) and prior receiving, the principal showed the statistics of passes.. Overall the '03 cohort did better than last yr and there is a general improvement. General advice from the seniors for us is to work hard. Yup! so i wanna start now! and i started just now with diana.. we studied till 1030 hehehe.. must start to stretch myself liao.. hehe..

*counting on God's strength i move forth*

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Ever had someone gossiped about u? Sickening right? Even though it didn't happen to me but i can still feel for the person.. Words are like double-edged sword which can pierce right through your heart. They say 'sticks and stones can hurt me, but words can nv hurt me." i think they're uttering rubbish. Words are powerful. They can lift you up to heaven or smash you flat on the ground. But one thing the gossipers don't know - the truth will eventually come to light. It's like trying to suppress a ball under water, it doesn't take a genius to know that it's only a matter of time before the ball emerges to the surface. So let's see who has the last laugh. Heh.

Recently i've been spending a lot of time with my dad and we did crazy things together. It's the crazy things that make life more interesting he said. Anytime! When i'm older and richer i'd want to do crazy things too. we went for a jog at bedok reservoir 2 days ago at 11 plus at night. There was a big playground so we went up and interupted a couple doing their stuff haha.. after that we went to eat at newton circles. So happening right? lOl...

For You are great, and do wondrous things; You alone are God.
Teach me Your way, O LORD; I will walk in Your truth;
Unite my heart to fear Your name.
I will praise You, O Lord my God, with all my heart,
And I will glorify Your name forevermore.
Psalm 86:10-12

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Sometimes, i really wonder if i'm ever gonna find a guy whom i can love for a lifetime and vice versa. a lifetime! we're talking about half a century or so. But i believe any relationship build on the foundation of God can flourish and sustain. aiyo why am i even talking about this.

I think some ppl have wondered why i can smile and laugh everyday. It's the JOY of the Lord i must say. It's knowing that God is with you, so there's really nothing much to worry about. But of cos that doesn't mean i don't have my own set of problems, it's just that when your mind is focused on God, all things will become shadow in the light of God. Everyday is an adventure with God, He'll take u places you've nv been and show u things you've nv seen. How exciting! =)

So He humbled you, allowed you to hunger, and fed you with manna which you did not know nor did your fathers know, that He might make you know that man shall not live by bread alone; but man lives by every word that proceeds from the mouth of the LORD.
Deuteronomy 8:3

U know what feels good? It is to hit a mosquito flat. And true enough, u don't have to be someone significant to significant things. Look at the mosquitoes.. they are small yet can cause drastic reactions in us.. and instill a sadistic feeling in our minds. Oh no, this is such a lousy example.. can't help it.. feeling itchy now.. haha.. killed 3 in 2 days. how wonderful. HAha.. okie lame entry. gdnite.

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Today! i had a very very fun time at sentosa!! super fun. really enjoyed myself. me and cai first went to siloso beach and sun tanned at the bridge. So we just laid there with our feet soaked in the water.. So relaxing.. haha.. funny then some ah neis came over and took pictures with us.. apparently we weren't interested but obliged anyway, reluctantly. One wanted to sit in btw us, of cos my natural reaction was to answer NO. They kept taking till i got fed up (cos they kept saying that was going to be the last and i wonder what was their definition of last) and i said enough. firmly of cos (wah aileen sia.. =P) NO MERCY. hahahaha.. but of cos that wasn't the fun part. after that, we went away to find darryl and you yi at palawan. they were with their grp of friends and i joined them for volleyball!! it was so fun. it's been so long since i played vball. miss it.. we played till we couldn't see the ball. went for dinner after that. Both of us were the youngest among them so there was kind of a generation gap thingy. So the topics they talked about didn't really appealed to us haha.. Serious! most of them are above 25.. so we were like 2 gin nas.. haha but nevertheless we all had an enjoyable day. =) I'm like a cooked lobster now.. haha.. rare sight for a hantu.

oh ya i learnt sth today from a well-built guy.
Protein powder + egg white + milk + gym = prominent muscles
Warning: the milk mixture is not tasty.

Anyway, today i was kind of sad when i received the msg that i won't be singing as a choir tmr as i have been anticipating for this day.. think cos of Pst ulf.. But i feel it's appropriate la since i'm a newbie. I told damian about this and he was so encouraging. aiyo. He told me to be a light among the audience and that i can be a choir member in the crowd too! solid la.. so edifying. =)

To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven
Ecclesiastes 3:1

<=)>
I was standing
With hands lifted
I closed my eyes
A drop of tear fell

I wasn't sad
I wasn't lonely
It was God who
came right from heaven
to touch the insignificant aileen

I am God's child
I feel honoured
Satan can't harm me
I have God's protection
And under His wings
I will dwell

Conference today was great as usual. I walked out of the auditorium feeling stronger than ytd, going from glory to glory. I learnt about humility, and the opposite, pride. God HATES pride the most. That is also the reason why Lucifer fell and Eve died. Contrary to popular belief, humble people are actually strong and firm. They know who they are, and do not have to constantly prove themselves and show the world what they have got. Have u seen boastful people? They may appear strong but deep inside, there lies fears. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of loneliness and whatever fear there is. Humility is to rest on something bigger and not by your own strength. God the Almighty, is there for me, why should i lean on my own tiny puny strength? That's kind of silly i feel. If i were to choose between 1 million dollars and 1 buck common sense will tell me to choose the former. I think we don't even need a common sense for that. But so many times i've acted silly and chose the latter. Time to wake up, aileen.

Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for "God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble." Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time,
1 Peter 5:5-6

Pastor Ulf's conference was superb. Everyone felt that it was a message specially meant for us. It was about friendship. I was so captivated throughout as the msg came just at the right time for me.. My classmate whom i mentioned previously (the one who screams and bosses ard) had a talk with me and my civics tutor this afternoon. She poured her heart out. So all the 10 yrs of her life, she doesn't have any close friends. Not even one. She was/is very insecuring, always doubting the friendships she had. She expected her friends to show the same level of love and concern that she gave them. She expected them to be there for her 24/7. She wanted people to think like her. To put it bluntly, she wanted people to live the way she wanted them to live. While she was talking, the word 'dictatorship' kept coming across my mind. Ms Yew and I told her our views about certain things, i don't know if she actually listened and absorbed, but she kept talking about what she thought about this and that. So i told her if she is not being open to other's perspectives then there was no point for us to talk. She insisted she was being open. Okie.... and she went on to talk about her family.. relatives.. blabla. So we just listened. now come the shocking thing. She told us she considered me as her good friend. i was like 'what?!' (in my mind of cos) i seriously donno if i should be happy or sad. So i just smiled. Speechless. Part of me felt that i was such a meanie for treating her the way i treated her and yet was still her good friend in her eyes.. but the feeling i felt when she said that was undescribable. I didn't know what feeling i felt then.. but anyway after the talk, she had a part of me and i had a part of her and i felt i understood her better and thus can accept her better.

Pst Ulf's msg hit me like a bullet thru a bull's eye. I learnt that:
- loneliness tortures people more than anything else.
She feels lonely. I want to be the light that shines in her life and make a positive influence in her.
- if you want to have a friend, be a friend.
Don't expect people to come to you and befriend u.
- friends sees right through you and still love you
I like it when my friends corrects me when i'm wrong, that only shows that they care.
I hope that by talking to her just now, she will feel the same.
- Love people and use things. Not vice versa.
- Friendship is an atmosphere of relaxation.
Friends don't compete with each other... They encourage and strengthen each other's weaknesses.
- If you're in it, you might as well enjoy it!
We may meet difficult people at times or go thru a valley, all these are inevitable so instead of complaining and be whiney, enjoy it! look at the brighter side of situations. It's all in the mind. (sounds cliche right. =P)

Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
Philippians 2:3-4

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They may laugh and mock
But i don't really care
I'm not living for them
I have a goal, a vision
Fuelled by God's strength
I move forth

There will be obstacles
I may stumble and fall
but that'll only make me stronger
I am not afraid
for God is with me
even to the end of time

today our class practised twisting balloons for tmr's love fiesta.. I made a distorted flower after a few ah!s and erkk!s haha.. but still sellable i think. =P HOpefully sales will be good tmr. The profit is really a lot. Haha.. hundred folds. HAha..

Anyway, have u ever met someone who kicks people ard.. who shouts at people... who bosses ard..? My tolerance level is not that high towards ppl like that.. For instance, this afternoon one of my classmates went about doing that, which is not seldom, while we were practising on the balloons.. she showed totally no respect for the rest and commanded/demanded them to do what she said.. Some of them were playing with the small cute balloons and she just screamed at them to stop playing. I mean.. who does she think she is..
Me: Do u have to scream?
She: I wasn't screaming
Me: then what?
She: *speechless*
Now she has a bad reputation in class.. I have sort of hinted her about that but i think she didn't catch it.. still trying to pluck up my courage to tell her and maybe correct her.. she's so unpredictable and may just scream at me as well.. who knows. Oh well.. On a higher note, she can be nice sometimes.

eh my class was very sweet to me! During chinese lesson, 2 days ago, they suddenly sang me a bday song in english then mandarin! HEhehehe.. I was surprised + touched. I went to sch that morning without even expecting any of my classmates to know that it was my bday.. Aiyooo.. 2 gave me this hp accessory thingy with my name.. and the next day i received this card which the class wrote their wishes on and one girl made my name using wires. aiyo...... exceeded what i even think or imagined. haha.. I went to celebrate my bday at kenny roger's (yay!) with all my very nice girlfriends (alice,bird,cai,jean,kailin,sis jl) It was a very sweet day la. Thanks alice for organising everything and turning up despite of yr fever *touched*.. thanks bird for getting those breakthru stuff for me and thanks for the friendship haha.. thanks cai for giving me a day off work LOL.. and thanks for being my precious friend... thanks jean for turning up even though u didn't eat.. =P thanks kailin for your enjoyable company and for inventing new and fresh spoonerism always. Hahaha.. and thanks sis jinlian for turning up despite having a busy schedule and you've been a really gd leader over my life thanks. =) Oh ya, and N256!! My very nice cell grp! Thank you all of you for being the first to celebrate for me and thanks for that sunshine song.. aww... =) And to the rest of my friends, thank you for being part of my life. I feel so blessed. =) Last and never the least,i wanna thank God my saviour, for carrying me thru 18 yrs of ups and downs and for patiently moulding me into the person i am now. can't imagine how my life would turn/end up without God by my side. =)
a big THANK YOU once again. =)

Today is a very special date i think. Cos it's giap-ed between my bday and vday.. haha so i always tell ppl i wanna get married on this day so i can have 3 days straight of.. erm.. nice days. =) So maybe in future, this will be my wedding anniversary! =) How exciting. *grins* Anticipating........ =)

Other than that, today was just another normal day.
school->played badminton with yannick n min->read->practised maths->library->read
so nerdy right? *grins*

Jc life can be so mundane sometimes.. Most friends (erm.. schoolmates.) only talk about superficial things.. it seems like everyone is only interested in surviving and getting over days in jc that few actually bother about making sincere friendships. How.. tragic. hahaha.. Nvm la.. thank God for blessing me with very nice friends like min and dai an na and a few guys.. Haha.. =)

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*blink* Oh! it's vday once again. =) Not that i really care.. haha.. But it's kind of sweet la to see almost everyone has a gift or so.. such a lovely day (literally). But i was wondering if this day is actually redundant.. HAha. It's like.. Do u think it's weird for yr bf to treat u exceptionally nice suddenly.. and it's only for one day? haha.. okie la maybe i'm weird to think that way. I donno. Never know. haha.. But of cos sometimes i (secretly) wish that i have someone (special) to spend this day with. oops. haha.. too bad la this yr don have.. so it's just another normal day for me..
school->ran with vick n swee->studied with diana till the sch nearly closed
Ya lor. =)

oh ya CNY was good la. Ate so much. aiyo.. no wonder could only run for 4 rounds today. HAha.. nvm.. tmr running again. Went to a lot of houses to bai nian. So fun haha.. Feel chin na once in a while.. Me and cai went to river angbao! That was my first time there, and first time i heard of that.. haha.. it was so crowded! Didn't regret going though. =) Hardly can experience chin na things.. It was good la. I actually quite like our culture.. Everything seems very exaggerated. haha..

okie la that's all for now.. still got 3 books waiting.. hehe.. *full-fledged nerd* =)

Verse of the day:
You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.
1 John 4:4